Love & Hate #2

Oh you know you have things you just want to just release into the word! Anger, Joy, disappointment, Excitement…

It doesn’t have to be given a context if you don’t want to, it doesn’t need explanation but darn it, it’s fantastic to share!

So without further ado:

  1. I hate scraping by: just the fact that I do. Things are fine unless someone gets sick, then bam! Back in the poor house. “Change jobs, go back to school, move and start over.” Newsflash: All that costs money!
  2. I hate being talked down to: I don’t care if it’s meant or not, it aggravates the mess out of me. Especially if we are on the same level, pay grade, place in life, or supposed to be friends.
  3. I hate having guilt over taking care of me: Ispy, it’s $10 a month (€8.87,£6.91). I can get much needed pale people makeup supplies sent out to the Land-of-One-Wal-Mart-and-That’s-About-It. It’s cheaper than buying full price or full size, and I don’t even know what to buy half the time. Or if I’ll like it on! The fact I feel guilty about spending that little on me monthly aggravates me too.
  4. I hate whining: My students do it. It hits my ears and then crawls under my skin and I just want to…..!!!! And now my beloved CDubs has learned to yodel – whine, I swear, that’s what it sounds like. Only been two for 2 days. 
  5. I hate that his whining bothers me: I mean seriously, he’s a kid. He’s going to whine. It’s okay. I know that. I can’t believe I am bothered by it. Rise above man, he doesn’t know any better.
  6. I hate that chores NEVER end: like ever. Laundry forever. Dishes are seriously creating more dishes. I throw away my trash yet there are little papers EVERYWHERE. It’s an epidemic.
  7. Trump.
  8. I hate being told, “Family Comes First,” when the speaker doesn’t mean it: yeah, family come first until it’s my family. Then you feel I should ignore my family in favor of what you decide is right. Really?
  9. I hate when someone thanks you for all you do and then demands you do more for their benefit: Sure, I’m doing great but where do you expect me to get funding from to enhance this event? Myself!? Really? See #1!
  10. I hate that someone I love is very sick and I can’t do anything: It doesn’t matter that 6 months of treatment should bring them back to “normal.” It doesn’t matter that they are “young,” it does matter. It sucks. A lot. I can’t talk about it openly either. (I respect that choice however. It’s their life!)

To end in a good note (I like doing that):

  1. I love my Rhonna Designs App: It’s just fun.
  2. I love naps: I’ll take 10 for my birthday.
  3. I love that I have a newfound energy towards my faith: and I love that everyday I become more brave about it. Even if it leads me down the “misguided path,” at least I went there, and I tried, instead of wondering.
  4. I love that I have a good family: Ryan and CDubs are pretty awesome, kitties too.
  5. I love that I have a lot of choice in my life: I am very lucky that I have freedoms I am able to enjoy (it doesn’t matter if I’m North American, or not (Yes I think Canada is pretty awesome)), you can live in a “free” society and have your choices taken away in so many ways.
  6. I love that somethings in my life are pointing towards a clear choice: Sometimes I backpedal- can’t help it- but sometimes things just say, “This way out!” And you’re like, “yeah, I get it now!”
  7. I love that I can walk away for a bit, and come back to things and I’ve grown enough to not feel guilty about needing a break: I needed a break from FB, WP, and other things and I left and I used to feel so bad about it. “I’m leaving people out of the loop!” But I’ve realized people either don’t care and didn’t notice my absence, or they were warm wonderful people who understood the need for space. I’m better at discerning who’s who and realizing I don’t have to feel that way.
  8. I love that I am coming into my own. Took long e-freaking -nough! 
  9. I love that less can give you more: no money sucks but we spend more time together, I don’t have enough supplies for students but somehow I can make it work or be creative and invent a new way, Less time focuses you towards what’s important, less can be more.
  10.  I love that it’s the first day of spring: and I can pretend that means NC will be normal and balmy…. Yeah, right!

Lol, such silliness. CDubs has been sleeping for 45 minutes… Nap, or clean? Hmmmmmm…

I hope to talk with you all soon, what do you love or hate right now?

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Looks Like You’re Ready For a Girl

CDubs is 14 months and already I hear the ominous phrase, “It’s time for a little girl.” Followed by stomach rubbing or comments about my weight.

Remember, I’ve got a thing in my brain. I have explained before, I produce a lot of extra hormones, all of the ones a pregnant person produces in fact. Except, I cannot get pregnant while my body already thinks I pregnant! But, explaining that to strangers…. Good luck!

So I say something jovial about being happy with myself. That should distract them!

Except…. Then people feel uncomfortable. I actually love myself and don’t care about my weight. Sure, I’m what a lot of people call fat. (I’m not really. I’m pretty healthy for again, a person with a thing in their brain!)

I feel like, it’s character that matters most in the end, and no matter how you feel about me, it’s how I feel about me that matters. My journey to myself.


Normally, this isn’t anyone’s business. I mean really, you made your comment, I corrected the assumption with good humor. Today though, the woman became horrified that she offended me and I guess my humor was false? So she’s trying to make things right but it’s only getting worse. So I explain she is okay and why I look pregnant as succinctly as possible and then it ends with random people hugging me and I’m thinking, “What just happened?”

This instance is my 4th instance of  “it’s time for another baby.” No, nooo, I’m okay…

How I feel is this, I may look like I’m ready for a second baby, but CDubs needs to be in public school before I even decide to talk about, talking about conceiving. I am barely staying afloat as it is, adding another! Now I have the best mutated form of birth control ever (albeit dangerous, so please make sure ladies you take all missed periods seriously, especially 3 years of missed periods) so I think I can make good on my plans.

But try convincing these baby enthusiasts that. You’ve got one miracle baby and now it’s time for two. Miracles take time right? Maybe 4 more years? (Please God) it will give me time to decide how to deflect these crazy comments….