Awards Day and Transition Ceremony 

Well it’s done. Today was the last day with students. We did a lot of housekeeping type things at the beginning of the day- double and triple checks to make sure things were set for today.

I had prepared for this day- for band- for months. I had all of my awards, thankfully:

And some lovely person set them up for me!

The parents arrived:

And the students arrived:

Then we started:

And we had awards for Attendance, for Honor Roll, for PBIS, for Improvement, and for Specific Subject Areas.

It lasted a pretty long time, but it was worth it!

There was celebration everywhere:

Then, we had to feed them and send them home, one last time (8th grade and for the year, 5th-7th grade).

During this, I received this email from my husband:


My Husband Ry has been… Well for lack of a better word, demoted. He’s tried his best. He’s tried some many things- even I probably haven’t given him enough credit for all he’s done.

He was called in and told, not asked, told, what was happening next year. He hasn’t done anything wrong, he can’t be fired but the one thing he loves is gone. He can’t teach Band. Then, as an after thought:

“Are you okay with this?”

Well what? Did you want my husband to lose his composure? A family man with responsibilities? Is that why you felt you needed 2 assistant principals with you, when you explained the, “New Direction?”

No, no my husband is not the fool you may want him to be. He will take your job offering because he has a family. Responsibilities. Character. He’s not going to flip out on you, he is a professional.

A professional.

Are you, okay with that? What about that direction?

If anything ever cemented the feeling of, “It’s time for a new job,” this does.

These are my views. The end. I am outraged on behalf of my husband. I think this could have been handled better (this “news”).

Resumes, Video Courses, and Dreams

Well… I’ve been barely hanging on folks. It’s like, the second I pull myself out of a dark mood (depressing), I am savagely dragged back in.

Don’t I look nice? At our spring formal I wore this. It’s a long gown by Lane Bryant. The back dips down to 5 inches ABOVE my bra. The front allows no cleavage. There is a slit in the front that stops mid shin (wow huh?).

What’s my point? I was pretty covered. So much so I was wearing a tank top and long shorts underneath – just in case. (Kids like to reverse pants or up skirt people, dunno why) Covered.

I was told by multiple adults that I was dressed like a slut. Why? I wore the exact outfit to the pageant and some of the same people praised my “elegance.” I can’t really go into the details but suffice to say, people were upset at policy and I was an easy target.

Should parent’s talk to teachers like that? I spent 6 hours helping to decorate the dance. I spent another 4 to 5 chaperoning. I was actually covered, the dress wasn’t tight and when I offered to change? They muttered non committal things (Like that wasn’t necessary). I was just a convenient target. The end.

The students have been yelling, whining, disrespecting, acting a straight up fool for the past month. Teachers have overstepped boundaries, and when plainly told, “no,” without explanation (which is what they tell me to do in order to be a successful, no-nonsense teacher) I am “rude.” I’ve been dressed down by everyone. I’ve been mocked, I’ve been laughed at.

So I started to pack.

Let’s see, 50K in debt for school.

Money spent on Praxis 1, teaching license, credit renewals, school supplies for myself, school supplies for other people’s kids, trophies for kids…

ASWs, Meetings, State Standards (aka prove your worth or you’re fired) reports, write ups, 504 meetings, late night dances, football games, basketball games, volleyball games, baseball games, concerts, parades…

Then kids, 10-14 years of age can cuss at me? Adults who are professionals can just decide to take their bad days out on me just because? Community members disrespecting me and talking to me almost yelling, Rumors, disrespect, parents who cause me to change my cellphone number….

Sorry, all that stuff in the paragraph above combined with the other two… that’s above my pay grade.

“What are all of those boxes Mrs. G?”

“Well, when you leave a place, you take your stuff with you.”

*looks of disbelief from students*

When you treat people badly, they go. When you continually piss on all the good things that they do, and then ask you to prove why you matter, using the things that have been pissed upon; ITS TIME TO GO.

So I typed up my resume. Sent it off to my fantastic, smart, tech savvy, savant of a friend M and said, “Help me.”

It’s been 5 years folks. iPads did not exist for regular people at the time I got this job. I had my first gen 1 smart phone when I started this job. My students only had iPods when I started this job.

Technology has vastly changed in the past 5 years and so has the art of resume writing.

M graciously gifted me temporary access to his knowledge of resumes – sending me to watch video after informative video of how people today make themselves stand out.

Holy cow folks. It’s a lot more than, “I’m alive, I made it through school, this is my degree, experience, hire me please?”

Now you have to leave off references. People can now steal identities with your resume! What the cluck man?! (🐔🐓 <– chicken emojis)

You list achievements and memberships and it matters where you put each section of information depending on your level of experience.

It’s brutal.

But it looks good!

I have a tag line now, because that is a thing:  “A creative innovator in the educational industry, content integrator, and growth oriented, I am seeking an opportunity to engage students using my advanced skills, education, specialized training, and years of experience can be fully utilized.”

And a professional NEW un-stalker known phone number (and voicemail), email, and all that.

I think the course really helped me out. I think the resume is ready to send!

I know. Teaching anywhere will have its difficulties. I get that truly. I feel though, if I moved towards the city, any city, where people don’t have time for kids acting this way… Where maybe I will be treated as a professional…

I just feel it. It’s time to go, to my bones. Maybe I’m keeping someone from their dream job. Maybe there is someone fresher, more giving, more worthy of my kids. Maybe my dream job is just an upload and submit away.

Next week and on, we’ll see.

Dreams are worth a little discomfort, yes?

The Rumors Are True

They are. Let me explain why.

You see, I was working recently, during a particularly troublesome time. Field trips, and student events and projects everywhere. I am generally a good sport; I’ll help watch a class, answer phones every once in a while. Everybody needs help. Once again, a substitute situation occurs and I have to help take up the slack. Again, it’s cool it happens.

As I am trying, Keyword trying, to give directions I say the stupidest thing:

Y’all need to stop talking while I’m talking. I’m a teacher, what I have to say is important. You need these directions in order to do your work. What I have to say is important.

Oh words. While true, they are so tricky.

immediately, I receive a quiet but defiant, “No, it isn’t.”

Red. I saw red. I yelled “Get your stuff and get out of my room!”

“Woah, she is mad,” they gasped.

Yeah, I’m human. This tiny, stupid exchange was the straw. (The straw that broke the camel’s back – is the saying)

I quit. I quit. I quit. I quit. I quit.

I cannot do this any longer. The few breakthroughs, few relationships, the impact versus the stress; this school…

I don’t deserve the treatment I’ve received this year, the harassment and the disrespect. I know it’s different at other schools. If it’s not at least if I move to a larger town I’ll have a richer outside life. CDubs will have the chance to be educated well. We will have a chance to be happier.

I’ve learned so much here. Grown so much. But I feel in my heart and through prayers, it’s time to take a step out. I might not find a new placement this summer. Just the act of trust and trying, I feel is an excellent start.

Who knows? I think looking and even failing will teach me a lot. What matters is I’m going to do it; get my resume out there.

It’s okay to want better, to move on when needed.

I have no money to move and start fresh but I’m going to at least try.

I can at least try.

Quote Challenge 3

It is day 3 of the 3 day quote challenge that bekitschig has tasked me with! It’s been a fun challenge, that surprisingly revolved around similar topics!

Without further ado, quote 3:

I admit, when I imagine my life I see a solid middle class house, 4 bedrooms, 3 baths (one can be a half bath), garage, large backyard fenced in with a spacious patio. I see friends visiting often, CDubs growing up surrounded by playmates. I see cuddly husband wife interactions, pets to snuggle with and peace when returning home from an enjoyable job.

I have absolutely none of that. None.

Fighting all the time, isolated, barely any children his age, job so stressful I’ve had a tension headache for more than a week (I can’t get through the day without prescription IBProfin), too many folks need me but don’t actually want me, cats neglected….

It’s a mess. I am profoundly unhappy.

But. But. My son is beautiful. Though the man I married seems hidden from view, he’s still in there. I don’t have to work here forever. Nothing has to stay the same.

I imagine taking that step. It’s scary. I have a job now, my co-workers are nice. It’s not so bad…

I’ve become comfortable in unhappiness. This is all life is. It’s sucks.

I’ve started to stop, and take care. It’s time to grab at that life we imagine. It’s scary; we can’t afford to move. We can’t afford for just one person to work. We can’t, we can’t, we can’t….

It’s time. It is time. Now (well in the morning). This must change.

So yes, she is going to live the life she imagined. Yes.