I wrote yesterday’s post on Monday night before I went to bed, when I felt the most vulnerable. I knew that was the only time I would let myself admit these things. I get a little loopy at night. I wrote it, cried a bit and fell straight into the realms of sleep. I dreamt of absolutely nothing related to babies and family, which I admit was a relief.
Then, the next morning, I left my phone at home. It was an accident, and while it bothered me because I enjoy being plugged in I felt I would experience an uneventful day.
Blessedly, all of my students were mostly good and I didn’t feel like the day pressured me in anyway.
When I got home after work, I rushed around getting things ready for CDub’s first soccer (⚽️) practice.
I scooped up my phone, and saw them, little red notifications all over the darn place. I tried to understand why I would have so many notifications.
What I wrote wasn’t a great piece of literature, I did not challenge an ideal or shared a new way to do something.
And yet there it was. Message after message across social media and WordPress, community.
f these beautiful women sharing their light with me over something I truly haven't wrapped my head around yet. I mean I know it's a truth I have to deal with but it's just not there yet. I'm still hoping for some sort of intervention, divine or otherwise. I am aware this is a truth but it hasn't been accepted by my mind yet.
I believe it is called denial.
Anyway, not only did many of you read it, you circled in and offered words of comfort and blessings, air hugs and advice. You told me I wasn't alone and gently encouraged me to wort through this, but not alone.
That is a beautiful thing, this community of the female race. How we don't have to be close by or even be involved in each other's daily lives but we can understand and strengthen any way.
It's quite powerful, and I thank you for reminding me that I am never alone in the dark. Together we DO shine brighter.