Today Was Better

Today I had some of the things I needed to make progress. This was great. I had to rely on others some and I am thankful I am able to do so!

I’m making a dent in what I have to do.

I was also surprised to receive the long-awaited technology device! I realize perhaps I misjudged the situation. I think because who I am praying for has turned me inside out, I assume hostility from anyone who is a stranger. This person was overloaded (This person is not the person I had a confrontation with prior) and didn’t let on. They decided to tell me about it and even apologize. I also apologized and I think…

Yes it was a positive experience. I am extremely glad I was wrong.

I also realized, I can do my job. The person I am praying for just, at the heart of it all, wants me to do my job. I can do that. We don’t have to be friends. They certainly aren’t obligated to like me!

Today, as I did what was asked of the entire staff, and I was largely ignored by the people in question. Still, I can do my job even with this.

This is a learning experience. It isn’t ideal, but someday I will actually look back and thank them for what I am learning. I am learning how to do what I need to do in spite of all this strife. Learning to work within complex social situations.

In the end, it doesn’t matter if I “make” them understand me. What matters is that I do my job well. I can, and I can enjoy doing so. I can.

So, while it is still distressing and unfortunate, and I will not be getting teacher of the year ANY time soon; it’s okay.

Maybe respect, if I can earn it, will be much better than any relationship I can foster with this person.

I’m still going to pray a lot. A lot. I can’t get through without it. It’s like a mantra that gives me power and reminds me I have control over myself. I do have control of my feelings and my actions.

So, today was a better day.

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