It’s Not Getting Better

It’s been extremely emotional the past few days. I’ve been in more confrontations this week than my whole career as an educator.

I seem to be making the wrong choices. Doing things I thought were reasonable are not and simple things that are fair and equitable to ask for are being withheld. It’s possible it’s not on purpose, but it is very hard in today’s world to get along without certain items. (I am being as vague as possible on purpose)

So I was truly, struggling yesterday. I sobbed huge sobs of frustration, bitterness, loneliness the whole line of wretched -nesses!

But.

But.

I watched the movie The War Room a couple of weeks back. Very powerful movie about prayer. Instead of praying for my husband, Like she does in the movie, I will pray for someone else. It’s hard to create a prayer when you’re upset about someone else being fulfilled and lifted up, when that person is seemingly dragging you down hourly.

I think though, it’s the only thing I can control. How I pray about this person and how I am going to choose to work on feeling about this person; are the only things I can control in this situation.

I have choices I haven’t considered because I believe I should be treated x,y, and z. While those are still valid feelings; I need to think outside the box here. I have too.

I hope that I do not come off as a smartarse; I just don’t know what else to do.

I don’t.

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3 Comments

  1. kidsofthe50sand60s

    You poor, poor thing! I have a friend who went through the same thing in the same profession a year ago. She was totally ground down by it and in danger of losing all confidence. She is now in a different school and slowly getting back on her feet.

    Liked by 1 person

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