I woke up this morning, the day after the 4th of July feeling a very very old familiar feeling.
Except, I haven’t had a drop since… January? Before that, back in GSO. I haven’t gotten hammered since…. 2008?
So you have to understand, I was confused why I was feeling this way. I fought through the headache, light sensitivity, and queasiness and got ready.
Today, we were looking at properties.
We dropped CDubs off at his weekly daycare socialization and hit the road!
We stopped at McDonalds for delicious fat:
Then 2 hours and 48 minutes later, we hit the first realitor.
We inquire about a house. It’s thin and the siding looks weathered.
“Promise me you’ll look past the floor,” the realitor says.
I could look past the floor. It was the smell. Saturated in dog. Suffocating to the pony I was breathing through my mouth.
And the roaches.
And fleas I found on me after we made a quick exit, but not before we ran into the landlord.
Did my best to run off. He wanted our opinion on the place!
I gingerly handed back the keys and we booked it to GCity.
There, we met with disapointment. We went to place after place: backdoors in bedrooms, stained carpet, kicked in boards, sealed up crawl spaces, attic in the closet, hot water heater in the clothing closets, punched in doors, fist imprints in walls, the smell of cigs everywhere…
Just not what we had in mind.
$40 per person application fee and you couldn’t have large medical debt…? What?
So what, are we anti- brain tumor?
5 years ago my husband and I were in the same boat. This complex we live in now took a chance on us. Ry found a job and we were solid.
I can only pray it happens again. We’ve got to pray and be more specific. I asked for two bedrooms and affordable and all that… And well they were two bedrooms and affordable….
Perhaps I need more specific prayers: two bedrooms, 1+ bath, smells good, not infested with bugs, backdoors in the kitchen, front doors around the living room, 900+ ft, carpet that’s clean and nice or new, no holes in the walls, washer dryer hookups, pets allowed with a reasonable pet fee, good bathroom, good kitchen, space for a kitchen table, deadbolt and doorknob lock (chain too), large closets, water heater etc in its own closet, shower tall enough for my Amazonian hair washing needs, no mold or mildew, no leaks, no lead in the paint, good seals on windows, Internet capable, good living room set up, storage (negotiable), good electrical and plumbing, central AC and heat (anything but a window unit), electric appliances- refrigerator, stop top oven, good neighborhood, $550 or less, willing to overlook debt, willing to understand husband won’t be working right away, good landlords, willing to take a chance on us….
We’re good people. We pay rent 1st. Always.
Or maybe, once again, I need to trust.
My pal B says, to hold onto this scripture, Jeremiah 29:11
Now, I did my research. Maybe I often mistake prayers for coins for a heavenly vending machine. I will work on that. (The blessing is, I am learning and that’s okay.) I need to trust that Heavenly Father has a plan. It’s a huge, bigger-than-me plan. It might be that 150 years from now, my real purpose for being born come to fruition because my great great grandchild is born to do…. Something great (hopefully not Voldemort great). I understand that.
But I also understand that, I interact with people. I impact lives. Whomever I work with, wherever I work. I will impact.
So, if God wants me to impact the students of JSE he will give me that chance. He will allow me the good fortune to find a home there. He will bless me with an option, with a person, with a place that makes it possible.
And also like Jeremiah 29:11, if he doesn’t want me to go there well…
I guess there will be more bugs… And things…🕸🐌🐛🐝🕷🐜