The whole drinking coffee and or drinks concept was started by Parttimemonster. Genius! Check it out!
Hey-o folks! Yes, indeed I am alive! I apologize for dropping off the past few weeks but I have lots to regale you with so hold on tight, here we go!
First my I suggest a magical steampunk adventure for you readers out there…
Not usually into steampunk, I picked this book out to read more so for the author. I loved the Enchanted, Inc. books and after trying the Fairy Tale series she wrote (not my favorite- time format not story- but interesting enough to keep me past my bedtime), I thought, “What the heck, in for a penny, in for a pound!” and purchased that one too. Rebel Machanics is a romance yes, but oh so worth it. Trust me!
So I’ve been reading, for sure, these past weeks. Due to a stipend I will receive, I splurged and bought $25 in books. So very reckless!
Well, it gets worse. I tried on my summer wardrobe from before baby. After baby consisted of yoga pants and tank tops. I’m going to be in my 30’s this year, and while that probably makes some of you scoff, and others quake at my decrepit state- I just can’t get away with yoga pants in public. Cellulite aside, I am a teacher. I’ll explain this statement later. So I found 4 tops, 4 bottoms that complement each other and jewlery to match. I now have 16 new outfits. Technically.
And I need them. Teachers, we are becoming more and more unprofessional. Maybe it’s the pay (it’s expensive to dress well!), maybe it’s the kids. I’m finding that I lost some of myself this year. I think, in all honesty I allowed other people’s influences to get me. No, ethics were still very in tact, I’ve done nothing wrong! It’s the relationship with the community and students that have suffered. I relaxed some standards. I changed due to harassment (and changed my number). I let unsavory situations get the better of me. Human shuman, I lacked professionalism in these extreme situations.
Sure, I bet anyone being called a slut, yelled at, and stalked over text, would have lost some self.
I can’t. I want to be great. The kind of teacher that people write books about. I want to inspire and encourage and provide safety to the next generation of everybody!
Sounds so… Vain? Crazy!? Well that’s what teachers should be. Not vain and crazy but the inspirators, the innovators, the example.
Let me explain.
We are with kids 8+ hours a day. Their own parents aren’t with them that much. I am the influencer, the persuader, the light along the path. Whether or not you like that, this is one of the many truths of public education in The United States of America.
So admitting that I lacked professionalism at times, sure I said the right things, I wavered. They smelled my fear.
So, as with all things, my armor is important. I got some cooler (temperature) clothes to survive next spring/summer.
Which leads me to the resume. I’ve applied to 5 very liveable schools. Updated websites, engaged staff, good locations (some at the beach! 🏖), nice facilities; just they look fantastic looking places.
Really guys, good juju, thoughts, prayers, all that sent towards, “Please let Katherine or Ryan find true positive growth and happiness in the next school year and beyond.” Sounds safe. I think?
Now confession. How do I tell you?
I’m afraid. Like you’re my blogging family.
I’m afraid what you’ll say.
That you’ll be dissapointed.
Because… If you are, and my friends and family read this… They will be too.
I’m the same person.
I still love everyone.
I still fight for equality in any way I can.
I’m not choosing this over anyone. I’m not condoning everything that’s been done by this religion. It’s not fair because, if you’re Catholic does that mean you condone the Crusades, or pedophiles in the church? No of course not! Yet if you are this religion people act like there’s something wrong with you.
*sigh* *deep breaths*
Okay, I’m Christian. Still loving the Big Guy in heaven. Still thinks the Devil is not awesome (although Lucifer is the best show ever). But, well, I’m not monotheistic anymore. I’m technically polytheistic.
Wait what? Loves God but likes other gods too?
Well, yes. I’ve converted. I see the Holy Trinity as 3 separate beings, working in tandem. The Bible even points to this, and says it, oddly enough.
Okay, enough theology.
Yep, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. There’s a Prophet. Heaven is a three layer cake. Yup, it’s all true.
Delicious analogies aside, this fills a part of me that’s been empty. While somethings I don’t 100% agree with, basic principals, modesty, most doctrines (not all) etc. I’m on board with.
I’ve seen the videos, the conspiracy type ones. I’ve read both sides. I researched to make sure I wasn’t really hoping to be Catholic or Muslim or confusing things. I’ve been studying. I am not drinking any Koolaide.
Ry is not. CDubs is not. If they wish to follow, cool beans. If not, I love them to the moon and back.
I haven’t announced it to everyone yet. I’m scared some friends will hate me, even though they are the most kind and loving people I know. I’m afraid of community reaction. Mrs. Abernathy is so… They’ll accept her. But me? I’m afraid of old fashioned, get-out-of-my-town-you-poligmist-loving-freak followed by pitchforks and tar and feathers.
Okay, maybe not so much the last one, LDS does not practice polygamy. Still.
Anyway, now you know. I don’t drink coffee or tea anymore. It’s been months. It’s called The Words of Wisdom.
So I guess, if I see you anytime in the future, it gotta be Ginger Ale, water, hot coco, or something else.
I hope… I hope to see you soon. I also hope, if you’re against this, you realize if I’m wrong about it all, I will find out for myself. Let me do this. It feels right. If you’re a friend or family member and I haven’t told you yet, I’m sorry. I’m afraid. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want you to hate me. I won’t change towards you. I’m happy to share anything you want to know, explain anything I can. I just don’t know how to bring it up. I’m not trying to hurt you by not telling you. Honest. Think about this for a few days. Then, if you’re ready, bring it up. If you don’t, I assume it’s a private matter. You are reserving judgement.
I love you all! Be blessed this week. I hope I don’t delete this.