Voluptuous Goddess Pageant: The Results!!

The day of the pageant dawned bright and sleepy with CDubs crying for milk. After that was taken care of, we began to take stock, we need groceries but today was not the day for buying them! It’s pageant day!

So we rushed off to lunch and CDubs enjoyed his burger and apple slices. I sat and thought about my lyrics.

On Wednesday this past week I decided, with the help of fellow teachers, that I needed to sing something I was comfortable with. For me, the competition is the talent portion. I know I have good outfits, that I look nice enough, I don’t walk well but I’m sincere in my actions. I’d love to win but for me the goal, the win, was singing in public.

So I sit and think, what song do I know to my bones? What song can I remember each word, every phrase?

My first Broadway song, Fine, Fine Line from the musical Avenue Q. That’s it.

All I can think of, is trying to remember my lyrics, thinking of my timing, doing my best. We finish lunch and head to Wal-Mart.

I notice my phone had a notification for a text I had missed! My good friend M was on his way to L-Town and I still needed to buy a CD to burn my Karaoke track to!

We snag the blank CDs, pay and rush to meet M at our house! He’s very affably waiting,  and we really appreciate him being in town for the pageant!

We catch up a little and I go through the whole getting ready process while CDubs takes his afternoon nap.

I choose my outfits:



  • Purple Goddess shirt, cut up and off the shoulder
  • Jeans
  • Moccasins
  • Ugandan Beaded Necklace



  • Red plaid button down
  • Silver sequins skirt
  • Red drop earrings and red vine ring
  • Black dress wedges

Favorite Outfit


  • Black dress pants
  • White long sleeve shirt
  • Black poncho sweater with cursive words (love, beautiful, strong, etc)
  • Black dress wedges



  • Green dress with side ruffle and gathered waist (sort of)
  • Red kitten heels
  • Big cubic zirconium necklace and matching earrings

We rush out an hour before I need to check my music with the DJ, to eat dinner.

Chinese food is quickly eaten, we pile into the car and 7 minutes down the road, we arrive at the venue. I’m the second person to arrive! I get my make up on and talk with the DJ. My CD won’t cut it. He’s afraid it will skip. Luckily, my husband thought to bring my computer! We just hook it up to the DJ’s set up and it’s back to getting ready.

Backstage is chaos. Dresses, shoes, people, shape wear, heels, children…

But everyone is so nice! We get ready and walk out. We all sit prettily on the stage waiting until all contestants are seated on the stage. Once Mrs.Z does her MCing, we Dab out to change:

I know people in the audience. Oh man, my principal is there, coworkers in the pageant and watching! The butterflies are fluttering little nuisances in my tummy. I change into my sequins and plaid outfit and…

Contestant Number 1!

I walk out and wave and… I hear my intro….

I was nervous. I was sharp. I sang to the door.

I didn’t forget the words. I didn’t choke, I didn’t throw up. I didn’t cry.

Actually, I am elated.  I did it. It wasn’t that bad! No one laughed, no boos, yes there was recordings. I might be on YouTube somewhere.

I was brave. I am so proud.

Yeah, I am pretty sure other people sang better. Yup, they totally did. Thing I can’t believe is I did it!

I rush back to the dressing room, and toss on outfit 2, the favorite outfit. I hear poems about loving yourself, songs thanking our Creator, original monologues… I realize we have such talented, brave women competing tonight. Women, like me who may not be comfortable in their skin. Women who have struggled to look like everyone else only to be told or shown they just cannot. Women who aren’t necessarily told to hate themselves, but have been told that through examples in our world.

All of us came together to say we are beautiful.

Being 1st in a pageant rounds out to a lot of waiting. So I dressed in my favorite outfit and floated around just looking at other outfits and people. There were cute little tutu girls running around, women curling hair, and everyone being so complementary towards one another.

I’m called to show my outfit of choice, and I do my best to strut my stuff.

I know next we have a dinner intermission, and I ate at 4PM. So I glam up, darken my eye shadow for a nighttime look and sneak out to the audience. I am noticed a bit and my dress is praised, (confidence boost!) and I sit with M talking about how the pageant is going, how things looked, how the other talents were great. Then, a surprise.

A beautiful women approaches us and tells me, I am one of her favorite contestants. She loves my individuality and how I am being authentic to myself.

So I still came off as my kooky self, no matter how glamorous I looked, lol!

The buzz in the room became excited and a little restless, so I wove my way back and prepared for line up. I try to strut my stuff for the audience. I remember cheers, so I think I did okay.

Once again, we walked out, one by one and stood by the stage.

The judges talked and tallied and we stalled as they debated:

But finally it was time to announce the Winning Goddess and the 2nd and 3rd place winners.

Mrs. Z announced something amazing had occurred, the Winning Goddess had tied with another contestant, and it was a perfect match in all ways. The crowd was to cheer for which contestant they felt deserved the crown!

The tie, for the Winning Goddess is between Contestant 1 and Contestant 2!


Like a fish I gaped at the audience in utter shock. We were called up one at a time for the tie braking cheer:

I could tell though, while I received quite a bit of shreeking and hollering and cheering of my own (thank you!), that Number 2 was the clear winner!

Which I couldn’t have been happier. I knew I had won by singing my song, in a room of people I didn’t know. I succeeded. My for real prayers had been answered. So I was quite elated as it was.

Now, I understand, that normally, I would then be called the runner-up, 2nd place Goddess. However, the pageant was not set up that way, and another two ladies tied for 2nd. While I heard some buzzing from the audience (there was a bit of a stir, the audience thought I deserved 2nd place, when instead I didn’t place at all), another vote by audience and another woman was sashed. Third place was not a tie, and was sashed to cheers as well.

We posed for our last shots:

And I was approached for selfies with the Winning Goddess. We were a package deal for a bit, and ladies approached me and told me I was so brave (wait…. Did I sound that awful?), and they loved my dress. Then, from the crowd, my good Friend M emerged and helped me back to the dressing rooms. I gathered my things and thanked my teacher friends for their support.

Truly, without all of the encouragement from online, from them, even students; I probably would have just dropped out. Everyone was so encouraging and wonderful.

In the car, M told me he was approached as well, after the pageant with, almost condolences and people saying, “she should have gotten…”

But I am sorry, I just had the absolute best time. Hands down, the best time I’ve had in a long time. I’m just happy I did it!

At home, Ry greeted us and we spilled the news of sorts. He was actually a little miffed I didn’t get 2nd place which was cute. After reassuring him that wasn’t the point, he quieted down his protests. He was only being miffed on my behalf, like a good hubby.

M drove home and I peeled my face off and took some NyQuil so I could slip into oblivion (remember I have been sick!). Wonderful, awesome day. Totally would do it again!

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