Comfortable With Fear

A person can get used to something if they are constantly exposed to it enough. They can even gain comfort from the routine. Their life may be completely off course and everyday wretched, but the idea of taking a huge risk that may or may not end badly…

Suddenly it’s quite comfortable.

Perhaps fixating on the fear you know is less frightening than fighting the one you don’t.

I do this. A lot. I have an obvious choice, understanding, whatever, and I choose vehemently to believe the opposite. I lock myself into an obsessive circle of doubt and fear. This ritual I have is far more comforting to me than admitting I need to change.

How utterly horrible.

I know the truth, I am smarter and quite capable of facing almost all of these truths but…

I’d rather not.

While again, choosing to deny this frightening change, I choose to instead, fearfully hang onto this that frankly, does me harm.

Such a waste of energy. Such a waste of time.

I bet I’m not the only one though! I bet there are others clutching to old ideas, put upon superstitions, and childhood teachings.

Why are we afraid? There is absolutely nothing we can’t do.

This line of thought caused me to think on the butterfly:



I know butterflies are creatures with just enough brains to survive. Yet, they go through life, preparing for their growth. When it is time, they build their cocoon and sleep. Nothing but the cocoon protects them. There is no 1,000 year sentry, Roman if you will, guarding them until their difficult emergence. They build and hope to change, take a chance do what they are built to do.

We are to change too.


We just have to take a small step, an action. Even the butterfly has to work through their protective cocoon, bit by bit. If they take the easy way out, their wings are deformed. They must work towards that change, and so must we. One step, on our way, letting the fear go.



    1. afternoonofsundries

      I like you’re doing it and of course they’d hire you! You’re responsible (after all you care for your kids), you are excellent at team work (help your wife with school and parenting), you have pride in overall company and team goals (rugby shows that), and you’re good with rules (rugby again), you’re lawful (custody rules you know to the T), you’re kind (to me at least), a people person (you can get pictures with all the different people (rugby) and interact with others on line and in person (houseguest example)), you have excellent language and writing skills, are proficient in keyboard and updated technology, open minded, accepting if others differences, empathetic….

      Need I continue?

      Don’t sell yourself short.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Deborah the Closet Monster

    I’ve been thinking along similar veins recently. The last year has been so transformative for me. Seeing both the discomfort of the transformation and the good that has come from it makes me feel a little more receptive to the unknown ahead. There’s surely adventure in it!

    Liked by 1 person

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