Blogging 101: Do You Know Who I Am, Part 3

Catch up on the story:

Read part 1

Read Part 2

So I went to College. My grandmother V decided to give me my inheritance in a measured amount every year of school to help pay for tuition; I still had to work on breaks and eventually during my schooling in order to pay my full tuition. I still had fears of not making enough to go to school.

I loved college. I met so many great people who loved music, art, acting… And surprises of all surprises, my middle school friend J, who I wrote letters to, and called monthly since she moved, was going to the same school!

I remember running into her on the lawn I from of the dorms, we dropped all of our moving in junk and just hugged.

I threw myself into school working hard to get the grades; I was behind the other music students. I’d never taken a lesson, never learned to conduct, I did marching band but, I was color guard captain not drum major! My entire instrumental classmates had piano and formal instrument lessons, and every last one had been drum major in their bands.

I played the trombone and that was the deciding factor in my admission to college; I was willing to work hard, take extra classes, but they had 2 trombones in the entire music school.

So while that seemed lackluster, it made me work, very hard. I shot through my classes, except music theory, and caught up with my class. I was in all the bands playing in an even level with the others. I even took extra lessons on emburshure training, guitar, and my secret passion, voice. These were taken separately, I still took the general strings, brass, and woodwind classes all music teachers had to take. I was eventually accepted into the school’s education school and learned teaching was not everything I thought it would be. I still loved it though.

Everyone was so kind and I met M and D Connor’s Godfathers, Laura who is in Egypt at the moment (!), my friend B, who we visited last week… True friends, good friends.

Then one summer right before I turned 21, something odd happened. I was marking down some pantyhose and restocking them when I saw a sort of blip in my vision. I had a full weekend to look forward to, and I figured it was a 7 day work week kind of fatigue.

That night, I experienced a horrible headache, lightening flashes in my mind, the works. I woke up with this thing blocking my vision. Have you ever looked into the flash of a camera and seen that square of off colored light in the middle of your sight? That was what I saw the next day, all day. I also had a headache. 

Our local eye doctor had me referred to the leading eye doctor in the state. After a very quick eximanation it was discovered I had PIC; Punctate Inner Choroidopathy which in my case, my immune system was aggressively attacking my retinas causing inflimation. The inflimation was blocking my vision. It was thought with monitoring things would be fine. Unfortunately I’m special and my immune system kicks butt. My retina became scarred and I lost most of the vision in my right eye. The fear was, this usually happens to both eyes. The fear was, I was going to be blind by 30.

So that went on for awhile, constant monitoring and experimental treatments. While my right eye recovered from 20/80 to 20/30 with glasses and my mind has learned to replace most of my missing vision, it will never be perfect. In recient years, my left eye has started its own little journey and, we are doing our best to keep up! I no longer need to worry about going blind because, as I’ved said, I’m special. Best recovery they’ve ever seen. The amount of scarring is so much they just cannot believe I see so well. A blessing indeed!

In college I learned sickness scares people. Nobody wanted to think we were human and thusly could get sick. People that weren’t such good friends kinda… Took a step back, like what I had was catching (“the condition presents in Caucasian myopic females between the ages of 17 -40″ yet…. No one I have ever met has this condition…. In other words…”we don’t know, but a lot of white chicks who need glasses get it.”). It hurt a little when those people took a step back. Maybe it was me. Totally possible.

My close friends though, they surrounded me with love and support and I was very happy anyway.

I also met in college Ryan, who was my best friend. We told each other everything and hung out all the time. He disliked my boyfriends or when I had dates but, nothing was ever more serious than dinner and movies with those guys and a little bit of…. well that’s none of anyone’s  business. I doubt however, I would have gone too far considering how closely Ryan was involved in my life.

Eventually he saw the light. We dated exclusively during college, and moved in with one another and friends near the end of college and after college. A close friend finally said to us that we needed to live together lone to figure things out.

Things were okay but then, I stopped having my period. I gained weight. I was hungry all the time, I felt weird….

It sounds like I was pregnant, doesn’t it? Well not exactly….

Part 4


5 thoughts on “Blogging 101: Do You Know Who I Am, Part 3

  1. Your story is hard to read, but it is gripping. You’re doing a good job. We all have those formative years, don’t we. I didn’t do as well in high school as I would have liked. My awakening began in college when I saw the most popular girl in high school walking just as lonely as me down the quad, and I realized we were back at the same starting place. I’ve been walking tall since then.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for your understanding and kind words. I am sorry it’s hard to read (I’m hoping it’s hard to read because of the content, not my grammar!)

      Those aha moments of, “at the core, we are all humans trying to get through the day,” are the best. Sometimes it’s a wake up call and sometimes it’s an awakening!


  2. Pingback: Blogging 101: Do You Know Who I Am, Part 4 | Afternoon of Sundries

  3. I’m glad that your eyes are doing as well as they are! It’s always a blessing, like you said, when something that should be worse and then, for some reason, just isn’t (even if it’s still pretty tough, though.)

    Liked by 1 person

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