In Which I Notice I Am Older

There was more time, for myself then! I tell you! 

Today we went to Fayetteville to purchase needed additions to my wardrobe. There are things you can put off buying. I would go years without buying jeans, tees, tennis shoes…

(Warning: gonna talk about post preg. Tatas. Look for next bold area to skip if this makes you uncomfortable)

Your body changes after giving birth. I’ve got booty and boobs for days now (if you’ll pardon that statement, it’s not said to be vulgar, yet… I don’t know how else to say what I mean specifically).

 I needed, undergarments that didn’t unhook for nursing. Can I explain to you the horror of being in public and having a side unlatch? Usually it’s my fault for not securing it properly; but having an escaped boob is not something I find attractive. CDubs is like “Lunch to Go!” And I’m like, “I need to go die, cause 10 people just saw my boob flop out like a fish onto the bank…” *flop flop*

Yes, my boobs have changed. It’s true what they say about your body changing after birth and breastfeeding. Younger people would freak out if they had my tatas. They are not, not, noooot what they used to be.

Buying bras is not what it used to be either. There are too many and there are attachments. Like incertable gel packs?  My boobs are impervious. It’s like they just absorbed the packs. Nothing was pushed up. It’s not possible. Then the straps that are across the boobs and in the chest and down the sides, and what the actual puff do those things accomplish?! I’m not belly dancing after my first period class. I don’t need shear, trailing ribbons. “Everyday wear” my behind. Boobs + cups + padding to hide temperature changes = excellent bra. I don’t need charms, hot pink bows, push ups, inserts, decorative fastenings and tie dyed boobs. 

Le sigh. 

Nude, black, pale pink, white, light pastels. That’s everyday wear. Electric pink; I look excellent in electric pink. My wardrobe does not allow for electric pink brassieres. For fun, sure. Not for $65 bucks a pop.

Strike one for age 😉

Then I noticed the “buy two get two free” is a not the best deal in all ways. Look $54 and $46 were the most expensive two bras I found that fit. $100 bucks without tax if I got 4. “Buy 1 get one 50%” is a much better deal for me all around; $38 +19= $57 then doubled is $114. More expensive but think on this:

When you scour the racks for 30 minutes hunting down your size and cup only to find electric pink bras and polka dot when you really need an old fashioned nude and black combo… You need a strapless and all they have is red “Santa baby” push ups with white feathers. It’s not worth the time. The other bras are still pretty, lace everywhere, but they fit well. They have the colors I want. My size is in stock. I’m still buying the same amount. It’s worth $14 more.

I used to buy as much as I could on sale no matter the size or color because I could “make it work.”It’s cheaper! A deal! 

I don’t want to do that anymore. Good fitting things that allow me to wear anything I need, business or casual, without the worry of Leopard print escaping out the sides or through the front.  

Le gasp, another sign 😉

(Now panties… That’s different! I wear black pants like 24/7 to work. Electric pink Leopard print flamingos for days.)

(End of boob talk)

Jeans. The last time I bought jeans Lane Bryant had shapes (circle, triangle, and square!) and labeled things in low numbers (Like I was a 5… Or a 20 in regular clothing sizes). 

None of my jeans, which I worked hard to collect, (big girl sizes in Long are so hard to find!) fit now. I weigh the same as I did before the pregnancy. Yet… I can not get my old jeans to close! I’m not willing to rubberband them closed. It’s uncomfortable. You can see the zipper open under my shirts. Tacky. Makes me feel fat too when I do that, and I’m not 4 months pregnant shopping for maternity jeans.

Again, the extras, new jeans have panels, hidden elastic, extra bobs and bling they are butt hugging and molding…. I had to go ask a sales associate if I had the right size (I am a 22 apparently). I’m just not used to such… My new jeans are lovely though. Just they do more than the old ones apparently.

But oh my lord, they were $76.50! For 1 pair! What the puff! Again, the last time I purchased Lane Bryant jeans, $50ish bucks.

I have aged….

And my teeth…. Oh, my teeth:

Let me color fix them:

And what is this?!

And look at this:

Not to mention:

When did they get so crooked….

Then I realize… It’s been 8 years since my wisdom teeth were removed and 12 years since my last cleaning and check up. I’VE HAD DENTAL INSURANCE WITH FREE CLEANINGS FOR 4 YEARS! WHAT AM I WAITING FOR?!

Old age, apparently!

Yellowed with age.

And the swim suits. Let’s just not go there.

I just don’t feel the need to show off my goods.

Maybe it’s being married with a child. I’ve changed. I could care less for quantity. Quality. How many young people care about quality? Branding, you bet. Quality though?

I did however enjoy my trip. I got restocked on something’s I needed, I made my debt grow a little (it adds 4 more months of payments, however I will still be debt free from LB by the end of the next school year which was my goal. Young me had a $1500 limit. Young me learned it would take 6 years to fix that mistake.) but set a limit and stuck to it.

CDubs found a new place to play:

And was running around on chubby cowboy legs wobbling and shreaking with laughter as we chased him around the foam shelled area:

So cute! Also the best part of the day, which again, different than who I was prior…

And we met an old friend for lunch. I hadn’t seen B for at least a year if not a tad more. We caught up, which took no time at all. She’s been very busy. We were never friends that called, even in college, we were in person, if you’re around lets hang out, kind of people.

I’m thinking I should cut everyone some more slack on that. Personal note. Again, changes. Changes.

I think I’ve grown older. 


2 thoughts on “In Which I Notice I Am Older

  1. I feel your pain! Good Lord is bra/pants/ANY CLOTHES shopping not the worst thing postpartum?

    Oh, and my secret to battling yellow teeth? Crest Whitestrips baby. I love coffee and red wine so I battle the yellow too. Once a year I strip the shit out of those bad boys. 👌🏻

    Liked by 1 person

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