The Most Ridiculous Thing Happened Today Over some Photocopies

 Let me impart a cautionary tale to all the beginning teachers of the world.  Don’t say a damn thing around any of your students, ever. EVER.

I came back from my 3 days of caring for CDubs a little upset, students messaged me to tell me that they had not done any of my lessons while I was absent.  They did word searches and played hide and seek and silly stuff like that.  I only have to turn in a perfect recording of each of my classes to the state this week. They didn’t need to practice…. Gym is an excellent substitution.

But I sucked it up and said to myself, I shouldn’t be surprised that it happened, after all music isn’t a class. It’s volunteer work right? I went to make copies for my state mandated final project, we were in phase two of song analysis.  I punch in my number on the photocopier.  5 pages are spat out then the copier stops.  Wait a minute now, I had 300 copies left!  What’s going on here!

I have not time to investigate.  I go to class when the bell rings.I go into the classroom and the kids ask where part two of the packet is, some of them are actually concerned about their first state project. I explained that my substitute made a bunch of word searches and  stuff for my classes.  (I only teach 130 kids and I was gone 3 days so… ) I said unfortunately we have to do it on the smart board and they have to take notes.  This causes an uproar and I make my mistake:

“Yeah I’m upset we cannot have packets too but I wont get any more copies until next year.  So we have to copy it in our notebooks. Yes, I wish they hadn’t done that now we don’t have what we need, I’m going to have to talk to her later about making sure she uses my sub folder.”

There it is.  The biggest mistake ever.  They saw I was miffed.  They heard I was going to talk to her. I’m going to talk to her.

Within 2 hours, a rumor spread, a substitute was yelled at by kids and told the most interesting story.

Apparently, I was going to take her behind the school, yell at her, scream, shout and “kick her tail.”  The 60-year-old sub was reduced to tears and reported me to the office.

This entire time I am happily teaching my classes, eating lunch, and so on.  My principal comes by and I think, “huh he must be observing me today.”  He calls me out into the hallway and I still think, “huh something secret to tell me about A+ or S’s instrument visit.” Then he lays it on me how I’ve been the horrible person.

What the actual %^&*? Me, threaten violence to that little woman!

How is any of that professional?  Yes I suppose that I should not have admitted my copies were gone.  However, telling the students I’ll talk to a Substitute is normal because I always say that because no one ever follows my plans EVER. You have to get their side of the story. But I mean really, you know a kid made up this rumor because one, who goes behind the school to fight? I mean really.  Secondly I’m not that kind of person, but apparently I am now.

I come to find the people spreading the rumor do not like the Substitute and this is some plot to get her.  Except it would have gotten me, if the principal hadn’t brought her down here to speak to me.

I did my best to explain to her the kids were fabricating the whole thing. I do not know how much she believes me (being that I am so vicious and cruel), but we hugged after we spoke.  I told her I tell people how I feel, I speak with my subs and I’m frank. When I have issues, no matter what, I take the time to talk to them.

By the end of the day I was apparently getting written up, going to have a grudge match in the parking lot and transferring schools (possibly for her safety).

Children! *eye roll*

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