Practically Perfect in Every Way

 (Original Zebroid photo:

There are people I know, people I interact with often, who seem to be perfect; or these people I know think that they are perfect.

These people either are genuinely  perfect say all the right things, never get angry in public, clothing they wear is always 100% appropriate and fits beautifully…. They say all the right things and whatever they say always hits the right notes… Not to mention they are always attractive and put together…

Or they are that person. The one that the sun come forth from their rectum every morning and it is a gift that we are even blessed with that light. Oh yes, they do the same perfect things as the pervious paragon of perfection but, this person is perfect because they can lord it over others.

“Look there the sun comes out of my butt every morning, am I not special?”

Both perfect people are fine to be around in moderation, even useful. Though sometimes, I can’t help but feel inferior, and naturally the truly good one makes me feel guilty for wishing them to chip their polish or have an uneven sideburn it’s the other I truly loathe.

Because I’m that other person, that quiet-firecracker-who-tries-very-hard-and-has-to-please-everyone-so-they-try-to-turn-it-down-a-bit-(the firecracker part)-and-invariably-get-trodden-on sort of person.

And people like me are like a fine bottle of wine to perfect person 2 and a Zebroid to perfect person 1.

Person 2 exploits me, uses me to look good. There is nothing classier than to be known to be the best. So person 2 sips away at me, my ideas, my physical items, then walks around looking marvelous because I have added to their perfection. This person only needs to posses some of my ideas, just a glass. After all drinking a glass is classy and a whole bottle is trashy. Taking it all means they are a thief or worse, not special. Taking and creating using what they have poured from me though, suddenly clever and utilizing resources. Never mind where they got it from. No one really cares what Molly Mouse is drinking anyhow.

Person 1 sees me like a Zebroid. (They look like Donkey Zebras.) Awkward and a little clumsy. They surely mean well but, perhaps they would be more comfortable over there. We can still talk but, again over there. I can do cute things or have brilliant  ideas but no one really wants to have a Zebroid when they can have a Zebra, or a donkey for that matter.

I wish I could say the perfect people and I could make an awkward symbiosis but alas, it’s not possible. I feel very intimidated and not worthy in either case.

If you feel like wine being sipped until empty or a strange Zebroid, it always helps to remember this (substitute Attractive for perfect, but as I said, that usually goes hand in hand):

(If you are perfect and do not act like the two people presented, bless you)

2 thoughts on “Practically Perfect in Every Way

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