Double Trouble

It’s no surprise to me that after all this time, I’m starting to have difficulties. It has been almost…. 2 years since my last MRI. Considering I was having them every 6 months, that’s a pretty big deal. Not to mention, the last time my eyes decided to act up was a month after Connor was born.

Like I said, I shouldn’t be surprised.

I’ve been seeing double since Christmas. I wasn’t sure at first, my eyes would get tired and I was getting very mild headaches. As I got back into the swing of things at work, I noticed a doubling effect near the end of the day. Then I noticed a doubling of music notes etc. by 12:30PM. Then, 9:30AM.

So it was time to go off to the doctors. Which one though? Was it a brain tumor issue or a eye issue?

Being the cheap human being I am forced to be, I picked the closest office to visit first, the eye doctor. It’s like 5 minutes from my house. It’s not your typical eye doctors office. There are no glasses for sale and everyone is 65 and over in the waiting room, except me (hurray.). We all have some form of eye degeneration, and thanks to dilation drops we all have something to fuss about as we wait.

I booked my appointment and off I went. After proving I had a “marked decline in vision,” the doctor fiddled with putting “medicine” in my lenses (southern people are weird. It’s a prescription. They just do something weird to the lens. There isn’t any eye medicine floating around in the lens. I mean really.) it was decided that he would feel more comfortable if I went to my endocrinologist before anything was done.

Reasonable. After all, could be something to do with that tumor (that intersects just behind my optic nerve).

It’s possible I suppose.

Can I level with you? I’ve been faking it. Before and after the baby was born, I’ve been pretending that I don’t need to go to the endocrinologist.

I mean not having my period ever again is appealing.

Being able to breastfeed is appealing.

Not buying stupid pills that make me throw up all the damn time is appealing.

I don’t mind being fat. Being fat is cheaper than MRIs and pills. It’s comfy too. There are all these expectations I do not have to Worry about if I am round.

But then there’s that possibility that the double vision isn’t just a “lazy” eye muscle.

And that tiny, tiny possibility of death.

Although, it’s probably more likely I’d get killed some other fashion than that, statistically.

And my MRIs are $50 away from being paid off! I wanted to luxuriate in that.

And not throw up.

But, alas…

My hair is still falling out. I am still overly tired. I am retaining weight. I don’t have my cycles.

Oh drat it all, it’s time to put on the big girl panties and plan a trip to the big city to see my fancy (Yale educated) doctor. I guess I am making an appointment today…. For February. Or March. She’s busy, generally. It’s that Yale business. Graduating 4th in her class is awesome for the both of us.

I know, I know, such a big baby! I’m working on it! No more make believe….


7 thoughts on “Double Trouble

  1. I was like this with my health in my early twenties. My family basically waited until one of the times I fell over and wasn’t able to get up within 30 minutes to pick me up, bodily carry me out to the car, buckle me in and drive me to the hospital to get checked. I started regaining my ability to move my limbs in the ten minute wait in the ER while listening to the news.

    Sneaky jerks…

    I hope this goes well for you though!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh my love, I hear you! The time, money and hassle of seeing to what you know you need to is overwhelming! I am sorting through all my “stuff” this week, such as medicines, eye doctors and endocrinologists. I just wish I lived close to you so I could keep you company on this appointment! Proud of you! xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • It really is all very overwhelming and intruly appreciate your understanding! I dearly need good company and also wish you were in the area so I could chat about nothings as i am shuttled from area to area! Thank you though for the thought, it would be nice for sure!


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