Food For Thought: Who is Living Inside of You?

Food for thought: That inner voice in your head that’s constantly telling you that you are not good enough, too fat, too this, too that… If that inner voice was an actual person saying the stuff you say to yourself you’d probably beat the living crap out of that person… You wouldn’t put up with anyone saying anything negative about and to you… so why do it to yourself? -Maurio Hines

The voice in my head has a resting bitch face, I just know it.

RBF

Seriously though, why do we do this?  I have cut NUMEROUS individuals out of my life because of harmful word about my intelligence, body, ideals…

Yet, this skinny, bitchy version of my self is existing, using her voice for evil.  To gain what? What do I get from this voice that I need?

Nothing. Just like those people I had to cut out, I get nothing.

I know we cannot expect to live in a bubble of happiness. Just yesterday a student asked me “Girl, when is the baby due!”  I saw red.  If I could shoot lasers from my eyes like super man, there would be burn marks in place of her  person.

I was feeling good about myself too.  I was not too big from the baby, I was getting some things in my life under control and then, there she was RBFV (Resting Bitch Face Voice) suddenly telling me everything else that was wrong with me.

My classroom isn’t perfectly clean.

I don’t have my bulletin boards done still, in October.

I am large. I did go up a pant size, after the baby was born, and 3 cup sizes. I am now a letter of the alphabet I never knew was associated with brassieres. I have le junk in le trunk, enough junk for two trunks.

My hair is always a mess.

My office looks like the seventh gate to Hell.

I don’t play with Connor enough.

My house could be cleaner.

I should play with the cats more.

I dont do everything a good wife does….

I could do this for forever.  Most of that is true to a degree.  However, is it possible its not all as bad as the RBFV thinks? I think that is possible.  I also think she’s wrong. Her nags and niggles are not needed.  I do not need her to remind me what I should do or how I should do it,

She needs an attitude adjustment. Like 4 years ago.

I may be big but, I am pretty attractive. I am the best mom I can be.  My house is a HELL of a lot cleaner than when I was growing up. My kids constantly try to break everything cool in my classroom.  Everything in my classroom is cool so, of course it looks like death, I am just helping it look worse… My office is a non student zone and reflects my inner turmoil due to my lack of a planning period 3 of the 5 days in my work week.

So there RBFV, I am awesome.  I kick thee in thine hind quarters and ask thee to amend all statements hence forth.

No seriously, back up off yo, I’m doing my best.  You mean well but, I am doing well.

Go play with my inner child.  She needs some help matching her shirt and pants.

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4 Comments

  1. pacomontoya

    I have two voices in my head. One that constantly beats me down and one that lifts me up. One that gets me in trouble and one that pulls me out or steers me away. If they were real, I would imagine one to be in an angel costume and one in a devil one.

    Like

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