Full Circle: Making My Way Back to The Lord

I totally hate it when people force their religion on others, or condemn others for their beliefs. That said, you are welcome to keep scrolling, cause I am talking about Jesus.

I feel like God has always been there for me. Maybe not like I wanted (when you’re little you want blazing glorious visitations. As an adult, if I was visited thusly, I’d pee my pants), but He and His host were felt.

I went to church, the First Baptist Church of Mebane from age 7- 10 as well as a Lutheran Church on the side from ages 8- 11. The Baptist church was very fancy and ceremonial, vacation bible school was awesome but, as I grew my peers became holy bitches. My clothing wasn’t right, my hair wasn’t the right cut, I didn’t think the bible was law, I didn’t curse when the adults left the room- stupid stuff. I wasn’t allowed to sit with the girls, the girls were given the couch while the boys were given metal chairs. The boys tried to get the girls to jet me sit with them but, their purses were there so their wasn’t room.

Because Jesus was a Mean Girl. Except not.

The Lutheran Church was a lot better but, it was a storefront church and barely made rent, eventually they closed.

I always had to hitch a ride to church too, my parents wouldn’t go. People get tired of giving you rides, especially if they want to take their family out after church and you’re there, awkward.

So, with that I floated away from organized religion because I disliked how it was organized.

I went to a Methodist college and tried to go to chapel but I felt like a phony. Like they’d notice I wasn’t Christian enough.

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There has always been one way I felt comfortable, and that’s singing hymns and religious pieces. Someone always needs an Alto.

Singing about Him kind of distills him to his essence. He’s always got a clear message in song, we always sing about goodness and forgiveness and we don’t sing about people’s life choices or styles. It’s just about him and his powers, for the most part.

I enjoyed being in Choir in college too, singing all those all of those famous pieces by amazing composers like Mendelssohn, Handel and the rest.

I was very happy that, after jazz band rehearsal, Kari invited me to join her church choir, at The First Baptist Church in Laurinburg. The people there were very welcoming and the music is spirited and challenging. They seem to take the music very seriously, which I like.

I received an email tonight from the director thanking me for coming and she was hoping I would join permanently.

I think I shall.


  1. pacomontoya

    I always try to make visitors to our bible study feel welcomed and even in the halls I try to smile and say good morning. Feeling unwelcomed or like an outsider is not a cool feeling, even worse at a church. The one place where you would think it would not be that way. Sorry that you experienced that, but maybe it’s not where God needed to you to be. :]


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