Last week, I wrote about an encounter I had at a rest stop (related previous post) where another parent called my baby “sexy.” Now I know she didn’t mean sexy as we know the word but as perhaps ‘handsome.’
However, I was confused about the entire encounter until a friend of mine, Anderson, messaged me (after reading my post). Anderson has been working with children for many years. Anderson gets to hear what parents, co-workers, and other childcare advocates say about children. It was absolutely no surprise that I eventually ran into someone that would use the adjective “sexy” towards my son. It has become a more common word to be used to describe little boys and Anderson agrees, it’s not okay.
Now that Anderson clued me into how much the word is used, I decided to hit the online forums.
I went to my favorite App, Kidfolio, and went to the Pregnancy Rants and Raves Forum. This forum is infamous for it’s drama, outrageous stories, and hotheaded debates. It’s also the hangout of many good women who are extremely caring, strong and ready to help out anyone who posts a serious problem that needs addressing. That is why I hang out there so much. It gets heated but, everyone just wants to help.
So I posted my story for the ladies if R&R and asked them, is it okay to call a little boy, regardless of if you know the person or not, sexy?
Fabtab852 had this to say:
Personally, I feel that it is an adult word. It shouldn’t describe anything but an adult.
I obviously agreed with that, as my previous post said. There were other opinions on the subject and I discovered an interesting cultural tidbit as well, from meredithanne:
From what I’ve gathered, in the UK, calling a baby sexy isn’t the same meaning it would have here.
Which was very interesting. Now perhaps this woman at the stop was originally from the UK, American accent aside. However I didn’t feel that was the case. It was very interesting to know it is a common adjective to describe babies in the UK and there it’s accepted and common place.
Not all UKers think it’s appropriate though, mumaoftwo says:
I’m in the UK and I think it’s inappropriate. I personally, cannot fathom a child as being referred to as “Sexy.”
So even though it seems to be more common than I originally thought, many people are not coming to the idea that children are “sexy.”
Anderson also told me, it’s not just the boys. The little girls are coming into the center at age 2 wearing spaghetti strap tanks, mini skirts, short shorts and other outfits that many of us never wore until high school. Anderson says:
I don’t know, I didn’t wear that stuff as a child and it drives me crazy now when I see them looking like mini adults.
Though Anderson says that little white boys, like my son, usually don’t have to worry about that term referring to him, girls of all races have a huge problem with being sexualized that young and sees this type of behavior everyday.
But don’t we see this every day? Stop and think about it. The models seem to be getting younger and wearing more adult things. In my middle school, many of my boys and girls are trying to be sexier before their time.
I’m not liking where we are going with this one people, not at all! What do you think? Is this going to be one a cultural thing like in the UK? Why do you think it’s so common now? As always, thanks for reading!